During my meditation this morning these words came to me. I am waiting to EXHALE! I remember that there was a book and movie with that title. I also remember thinking that I never cognitively understood what that title meant. Not until this morning when I viscerally felt what those words meant to me. There in the quiet of this mornings meditation it dawned on me. That is exactly what I have been doing. I have been waiting–Waiting for what though?
Waiting for the right time to move ahead in my life?
Waiting for the right moment to expand my business?
Waiting for the right time to go on a trip I have been planning?
Waiting to sell my house?
Waiting for the exact moment for one or all of these things to happen?
And then it dawned on me that I really haven’t been waiting at all! It may seem as if I am in a holding pattern -or holding my breath to eventually exhale. However, what I have actually been in – is a deep transitional place. A place of stillness that I have never known before. I have been in focused contemplation and quiet observation of all of those things that I mentioned. I have given myself the time, space and mostly the freedom and opportunity to stay quiet in these very uncomfortable situations. This has afforded me the spaciousness to expand my so called beliefs so that they have now morphed into my knowings.
There is a saying “I can only learn when I listen–not when I talk”. –James Altucher
What I have been listening to is my own inner voice. A voice that has a lot of interesting things to say to me. At times they are loving, funny, wise, insightful and sometimes disturbing. Those disturbing parts are the ones that I decided to observe, acknowledge and then gently say goodbye. I have listened so intently over this past year that I don’t know exactly who I am any more. Except to say that I am desiring a softer and more loving inner voice. A more feminine expression of the Diane that I thought I knew myself to be.
But then I guess it is an illusion anyway to think that I could ever really know who I am anyway. It reminds me of that saying that I hear about the weather when I am in Colorado “Give it a couple of minutes and it will change”! Give me a couple of minutes and I will change. Who Am I? Well, in this minute I am a woman in deep contemplation about this moment. Doing my best to stay present and loving and in love with all parts of me!
But then check back because I am not sure who I will be a minute from now.
I have been offering Wellness Coaching services for over 20 years. I am always honored and thrilled to work with people who are willing and desirous of connecting to their deeper selves. My work caters to those that have already done transformational work and are ready to go to another level of self-discovery.
I invite you to contact me at Diane@dianedivone.com to set up your free 15 Minute Introductory Session.
