Our Capacity to Doubt

I just read a passage from Osho and he talked about our “capacity to doubt being one of our greatest gifts”. I immediately resonated with the statement and then I wanted “more” from it. So I pondered/reflected–one of the things that I do best.

This is what I came to. When I was a child I didn’t have the room/space to ponder anything. My father was a strong willed man and  if he said something once – then I got it in my body that I needed to hear it quickly (as in “I’ll say it once” )and respond even quicker. So there was no room to doubt “him” or even really listen, observe and see what I needed in the situation. Just do it! So I became a child of many doubts and questions and nowhere to go but inside.

Going inside was really a blessing and also a hindrance  because I became doubtful of myself. I knew there were things that he did that didn’t “feel” right to me. But because I had no voice to share what was happening I imploded with self doubt. It took many years to cultivate a healthy balance for myself without all the rebellion I felt towards any perceived “authority”.  

Fast forward to a life of asking questions!

I see doubting now as a really important part of my life’s experiences. For me, doubting means I get to ask a lot of questions. I am very curious and want to delve deeply into most things that are presented to me. So doubting is part of the exploration of finding deeper meaning in things. It is not a negative exploration but a way of knowing that my curiosity is leading me to find my answers. These answers lie inside the question that rose from the ability to doubt and question all things. If we don’t stop to notice and question all things in our lives then we cannot connect to the deeper feelings/emotions of our very existence.

One of my favorite writings is by Rainer Maria Rilke —

“I beg you—to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves–as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them and the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now, perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

So I say–Let’s doubt things that are presented to us. Not with resistance or defensiveness but with a child like wonder to find out what your truth is in everything that is shown to you. By doubting you flex the muscle of thought beyond what is being presented. Even if you agree with what is being presented and it resonates with you. Just by the fact that you pondered it gives you the ability and the space to decide on your own if it really works for you.